Jack: I thought we had a good thing going here Wuya. You sense the Shen Gong Wu, I pick them up with solid hands.
Katnappe: Uh, hello? I've got hands. Two of them.
Jack: Stay out of this Ashley.
Katnappe: My evil name's Katnappe, doofus.
Jack: Who you calling' doofus, Kitty Litter?
Katnappe: Who you calling' Kitty Litter, Robo-freak?
Wuya: Enough! Cease your bickering.
Jack: Point is, we don't need her to rule the world. We're doing fine.
Wuya: Fine you say? Then where is the Eye of Dashi?
Jack: Well, I uh-
Wuya: Where is the Two-Ton Tunic?
Jack: Funny you should ask, maybe-
Wuya: Where are the Golden Tiger Claws?
Jack: Okay, so I've had some bad luck.
Katnappe: Face it, you need Katnappe. [PURRS]
Omi: Please hurry, Kimiko. I cannot wait to see the Tiger Claws in action.
Kimiko: Cool your jets, Omi.
Raimundo: Let me get this straight. These claws can transport you anywhere in the world, right?
Clay: That's the story.
Kimiko: Golden Tiger Claws! Woah! What a veiw. The temple. This so rocks! [ECHOS] Now, back to the temple.
Omi: How was it? Where did you go? What was it like? Did you bring me a present?
Kimiko: In order. Tight. On top. A little breezy, and sorry, no. You're up, Clay.
Clay: Any words of wisdom before I give 'em a whirl?
Kimiko: Just decide where you want to go, and the claws take you there. And keep your hands inside the tunnel at all times.
Clay: Golden Tiger Claws!
Omi: Oh! Where do you think he is going?
Raimundo: Some place with an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Clay: Woo-ee! No place like Billy Bob's Texas Style All-You-Can-Eat Buffet.
Omi: My turn! My turn!
Raimundo: Ha Ha! Too slow. Tiger Claws!
Omi: Hey! Not fair!
Raimundo: Want these?
Raimundo: Oops. Here you go.
Raimundo: Look, in front of Omi. Behind Omi. To the left of- whoa!
Clay: Hold your horses, pardner.
Kimiko: It's Omi's turn.
Clay: Give the little fella a chance.
Omi: While I appreciate your help, I must point out that I am not little. I am small-boned.
Clay: Oh. My mistake, little um, pardner.
Omi: At last. The Golden Tiger Claws are mine to wield. Golden Tiger Cla-
Dojo: Stop everything! We got a hot one.
Master Fung: A new Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself.
Omi: Ugh. Talk about rotted timing.
Kimiko: Rotten timing.
Omi: That too.
Raimundo: What's up with the glowing X?
Kimiko: They're chopsticks.
Master Fung: The Changing Chopsticks are wondrous Shen Gong Wu. They can shrink you down to the size of a grain of rice.
Raimundo: Oooh. Real scary.
Dojo: Hey, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. So, the smaller they are, uh-
Raimundo: The lighter they fall?
Dojo: Yeah, that's it. Yeah, right.
Omi: If we are lucky, maybe I will use the Golden Tiger Claws in a Xiaolin Showdown. Let us remove the lead.
Kimiko: Let the lead out.
Omi: That too.
Jack: Okay, Katnappe, you want to find the Changing Chopsticks, huh? Well check this. Personal robotized army. All part of the Jack Spicer evil package.
Katnappe: I didn't bring robots, just my kittens.
Jack: [LAUGHS] Kittens? What could they-
Katnappe: Oh, did I mention they're genetically altered super kittens?
Jack: Uh, no. That didn't come up.
Wuya: Delicious, Katnappe. Simply delicious. Now, find me the Changing Chopsticks.
Katnappe: I'm so on it. Meow.
Omi: Who is that?
Kimiko: And what's with the tacky costume?
Raimundo: Yo, girl. Seen a mirror lately?
Katnappe: Hey, these your sticks?
Wuya: Well done, Katnappe. It's good to know I can count on someone.
Katnappe: It's not like it's brain surgery.
Wuya: [GASPS] Omi!
Omi: Yes, Wuya. You and your minions shall not escape with this Shen Gong Wu. I challenge you, uh, name please?
Omi: Katnappe, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown.
Jack: Ha! Katnappe can't do a showdown, she's Shen Gong Wu-less. If that's a word.
Wuay: Which is why you will give her yours.
Jack: So not.
Wuya: Hand over the fist of Tebigong.
Jack: Only because I think this will teach you a lesson. Better not lose it.
Jack: What's the challenge, Omi?
Omi: A game of tag.
Katnappe: Tag? Me-ow.
Omi: Let's go! Xiaolin Showdown! I must warn you, with my Tiger Claws, I can disappear, and then reappear in the blink of an eye. Your fist of Tebigong will be of no use. I shall win very fast.
Katnappe: Bleh bleh-bleh bleh-bleh How do we start this thing?
Jack: She doesn't even know how to Showdown.
Wuya: Hush, boy.
Omi: We start like this. Gong yi tan psi!
Katnappe: Fist of Tebigong.
Katnappe: Tiger Claws! Tag. You lose. Ha! look at me, I won. Very fast. Ha! [PURRS]
Dojo: What happened? I blinked and missed it.
Wuya: Well done, Katnappe. Well done!
Jack: Well done, Katanppe. Well done!
Wuya: My dear girl, there is much evil for me to teach you.
Jack: But- But I'm your evil favorite!
Wuya: Not anymore. In fact, with Katnappe by my side, I don't need you and your mindless robotic contraptions.
Jack: Hey, hey don't insult them. They've got emotion chips.
Wuya: Come with me, Katnappe. Together we will rule the world.
Katnappe: Uh, nice offer and all, but I don't want to rule the world.
Katnappe: Well, not with you, at least. I mean, bossy much? And Jack? Ick! Whiny little weirdo.
Jack: I am not!
Katnappe: Whatever, I'm out. But, I will keep these, they accessorize really well. Golden Tiger Claws!
Jack: Well, who's your evil favorite now? Do I hear Jack Spicer?
Omi: I have failed. Failure is the road I now walk.
Kimiko: Don't beat yourself up, Omi. Sure it would've been nice to get those chopsticks, but-
Omi: Chopsticks? Oh, oh yes, the Changing Chopsticks. I am upset because I lost them. My sorrow has nothing to do with the much more impressive Golden Tiger Claws.
Raimundo: Good cover. We completely bought it.
Kimiko: The point is, you lost. It happens. Just move on.
Master Fung: On the contrary, Kimiko. There are no lessons in victory, but a thousand in defeat.
Omi: How can that be true master?
Clay: Don't make no sense to me.
Master Fund: Allow me to illustrate. I challenge you to steal this elephant from me. If you succeed, no chores for one week.
Clay: Ooo sounds good.
Omi: Oh, yes.
Raimundo: Oh yeah, I'm cool with that.
Kimiko: [LAUGHS] gosh.
Master Fung: But, if you lose, you must hand scrub the floors of the grand hall.
Clay: Those are some mighty steep stakes, Master Fung.
Kimiko: We can do it.
Raimundo: No doubt.
Omi: We accept your challenge.
Master Fung: Too obvious.
Master Fung: Perhaps you do not wish to win.
Clay: Gotcha' C'mon little doggie. Well that's plum disappointin'
Raimundo: Hey, you broke it. Can he do that?
Omi: Master, how could we win such a contest?
Master Fung: You couldn't.
Master Fung: Your goal, my young monks, was to win, while mine was simply not to lose. That is victory enough for me.
Raimundo: Okay, that's one lesson. Where are the other 999?
Master Fung: Perhaps you'll learn those as you scrub the grand hall floors. Don't forget to get between the tiles.
Omi: We are supposed to hand scrub the floors, Raimundo.
Raimundo: You're being too literal. Besides, this is more fun.
Clay: Don't think skatin' is one of the thousand lessons we're supposed to be learnin'
Omi: Perhaps one lesson is proper scrubbing technique. I find a circular motion works best. You missed a spot.
Kimiko: Thanks. [GASPS] What's that? Sorry, it was just the wind. Hmm. You missed a spot too, Omi.
Omi: Oh my. Thank you, Kimiko. I have learned a lesson in diligence. Only 998 to go.
Clay: Oh. I feel like I just got off a bull. Or a bull just got off me.
Raimundo: Ah. Oh. Ow.
Kimiko: It even hurts to web surf.
Omi: All the soreness is rushing to my head. Ow.
Kimiko: Hey guys, look at this.
Clay: Sure hope this is worth the walk.
Kimiko: It is There are a dozen stories on the web about a girl in a cat costume robbing stores then disappearing.
Raimundo: Wow. What deductive skills.
Omi: We must stop her. Right after I stop the wobbling of my legs.
Computer: You've got a news alert.
Kimiko: She's at the Mall of the World.
Dojo: You want me to take you to the Mall of the Wold? This official Xiaolin business or we just gonna hang out at the food court?
Omi: It is most official, Dojo.
Kimiko: Katnappe is using the Golen Tiger Claws to commit crimes.
Dojo: What? Hop on. We've got cat to declaw.
Katnappe: Huh. Not a bad haul.
Omi: You are misusing the powers of a Shen Gong Wu. You must surrender!
Katnappe: You'll have to catch me first.
Omi: Water! Hiya!
Katnappe: Tiger Claws!
Dojo: Omi! Hang on, kid.
Dojo: Say, are you genetically altered super kittens? Hey, hey now. This is why I'm not a cat person.
Katnappe: Too slow.
Clay: Hold on there, Katnappe!
Katnappe: Are you gonna fight, cowboy, or just stand there?
Clay: I'm sorry mam, but do you have some male kin-folk I could fight instead?
Raimundo: C'mon Clay! Get her.
Clay: Sorry, guys. Can't do it. I can't fight a girl.
Katnappe: Then this'll be quick.
Raimundo: Clay, man, haven't you heard? Chivalry is dead.
Katnappe: See ya Xiaolin Warriors. I got more shopping to do. Meow.
Dojo: Except for the parts where she slapped us silly and got away, I think that went pretty well.
Dojo: Guys, any inspirations yet?
Omi: Not yet.
Dojo: Fine, I'll just be flying in circles. Don't mind me.
Omi: We need a plan to stop Katnappe.
Raimundo: Let's start with a plan to find Katnappe. She could be anywhere.
Clay: You know, back home we have a saying. Wanna catch a rooster, go where it crows.
Kimiko: She's already been everywhere I'd go. Toy stores, music shops, candy stores.
Raimundo: Ah, but that's you. Where would a cat fanatic go?
Clay: I'm guessin' the dog park is out.
Kimiko: Got it. Catatonia Land.
Omi: Cat-a-what-a-who Land?
Kimiko: The best amusement park in the world. The scariest roller coasters, the fastest rides, and the best cotton candy anywhere.
Clay: And everythin's shaped like cats.
Raimundo: Just as long as it doesn't smell like cats. Ugh.
Kimiko: That's where she is. I guarantee it.
Omi: Hurry, Dojo. To Catatonia Land.
Dojo: Malls, theme parks, sure you're not just playing hooky?
Katnappe: Hmmm. Swipe.
Kid: Hey! That's mine! [CRYS]
Katnappe: My turn.
Kids: [ANGRILY YELLING]
Kimiko: Oh, maybe I was wrong. I don't see any sign of Katnappe.
Omi: Only because you are looking in the wrong places.
Raimundo: The nine lives coaster.
Dojo: Can I sit this one out. Roller coasters make me nauseate.
Kimiko: We'll be ready for her when she gets off.
Omi: Really? How can we win when she has already defeated us twice?
Clay: She packs one heck of a wallop.
Kimiko: Even without the tiger claws.
Omi: There are no lessons in winning, but a thousand lessons in defeat.
Raimundo: All I've learned is Clay won't fight a girl.
Omi: [GASPS] I am struck by inspiration!
Katnappe: [LAUGHING] [MEOWS] Back for more? Sweet. I like kicking your butts.
Omi: It is not our butts that shall be kicked. Clay.
Clay: Howdy, mam.
Katnappe: All right. You're gonna fight me?
Clay: Nope. I cannot, will not, and should not ever fight a girl. But technically, a bear hug ain't fightin'.
Katnappe: Hey! Let go of me!
Clay: No can do, mam.
Katnappe: Fine. Kitties, attack!
Omi: Ha ha! Victory!
Jack: There she is! Told you my blood hound bots could track down Katnappe.
Jack: Now hand over the Tiger Claws.
Omi: But- But I just got them.
Jack: Yeah, that's a real tear jerker.
Omi: Tiger Claws!
Jack: What did you just do?
Omi: I sent the Golden Tiger Claws to the Earth's core.
Clay: Been nice, not fightin' with ya, mam.
Katnappe: Why did you do that? You're so stupid.
Omi: Perhaps I will never get to use the Golden Tiger Claws, but neither will you.
Jack: Get in, Ashley.
Kimiko: And that's victory enough for us. You okay, Omi? You really wanted to use those Tiger Claws.
Omi: One does not always get what one wants, Kimiko.
Clay: Guess that's one of Master Fung's thousand lessons.
Raimundo: These thousand lessons, I'm not gettin' them. Three, maybe four tops.
Kimiko: So true.
Master Fung: Not getting all the lessons are we? Then perhaps a refresher is required. I shall guard this jade monkey. If you can steal it from me-
Clay: Wait for me.
Omi: I mean no disrespect, Master, but I am so out of here.
Master Fung: [LAUGHS] I'd say they learned one more lesson.
Dojo: Never bet against Fung.
Master Fung: Up high.
Dojo: Down low.